Time for a Reboot

So my relationship is falling apart bit by bit. I'm not entirely sure how to fix it anymore. I'm gonna do the whole monogamy thing, for one. That should make her happy. Keyword there is "should". I don't know if I know what makes her happy anymore. I am so in love with her, but I feel like I'm throwing a part of myself away in the process. I used those exact words to tell her how I was feeling, and she told me I was blowing it out of proportion and that it isn't something that's a part of me. Just something I have to learn to let go. I understand polyamory is a thing, but maybe I'm not polyamorous. Maybe I'm just young and curious. I mean at least I was able to squeeze in a bit of exploration before this whole open thing collapsed. Man, that's going to be hard to let go, though. That was.... indescribable. The word "incredible" undersells what exactly that sex was. It was everything I wanted it to be and so much more. So rough, yet gentle. I was lucky and got it twice. Is it selfish to want more? Perhaps not. Would I do it again if I had the chance? Now, there's a good question...